New Year's Eve

Never Say Goodbye - Jojo

This song reminds me of all the past memories I have in mind. Memories of me in Doha and all those childhood moments. Yes, including the loves I had.
I miss those stupid things me and friends did together.
I remembered that we used to hang out in Corniche near my place where we chilled and played Benteng. It was our favorite place. We didn't have to spend much money or ride a car to get there. We just had to walk by. Unlike today, we all spend everything we go to.
Many things happened in that favorite place. We even wrote our names in the big stone. I hope it's still there hehe.
The things happened were so many that I could only remember some.
The most beautiful part of that place is that we can see a beautiful dark sky during night with stars around us. Most probably we were siting and looking at the pretty sky with everyone around us. Couples around me. Hahaha couples... including me and someone, Esi and Jeremy, Anike and Michael Abiera (well, they weren't together but Kuya liked her that time), Maya and Jeremy's brother, Bang Fauzan with two girls who had crush on him ie Mba Rini and Iges.

There was this one time that we chased a bad guy who happened to almost grab Mba Rini. I saw the incident right infront of my eyes. All I did was screaming and shocked. I couldn't talk properly on the phone to tell the other guys who were left behind. Oh, I remember it now. This incident happened after me and Mikael Arthur broke up in that place. Unfortunately, we broke up in that favorite place. All the bad and sweet things happened there.

After that incident, we stopped on going there. Became no more our favorite place.

Things past.
Anike went back to Indonesia. Months later, Mba Rini as well. A year later, the Nizars (Bang Fauzan and Rizky). Two years after them, the Kuswayas (Taufan and Maya). All went back to Indonesia. Many things changed. Rizky got a new band in Jakarta, one of the members was that bassist guy in Viera which I forgot the name. We lost contact with him of course.
I heard that Kuya Oba (Michael Abiera) told his feelings to Anike in the airport when she was about to leave. I wasn't there cause of uhm... I forgot why.
Months after Anike had been gone away and almost a year me and Mike broke up. Me and Kuya became close. We were very close that we talked everything. We talked on the phone and hang out together alot. There was one time when Mba Rini visited Doha that she caught us and she asked Kuya whether he had feelings for me or not. She tried to be cupid as usual. But all I said is that I only love him as my kuya not more than that.
I felt comfortable being with him, I was afraid that I might lose this good partnership.
Sad though. He lost his two chances of being with someone.

No more hanging after that sad thing.

We all lost contact. Everyone was actually in college already. I didn't even realize that after an event called Asian Festival in Philipines School of Doha.

In that night I was supposed to cat walk on Indonesian culture dress with Abid. But I quit due to internal problem with Abid. We had a little fight after we saw a movie together in City Center a week before that. We used to be in a what-so-ever relationship.
Anyways, I accidentally met Mikael Arthur, Faisal, Saikat, and Kim Ji Hoon oppa. We were reunited and that I introduced Umaira to them. Somehow, new faces and new friends ofcourse. Then we planned to hang out the next week. We went to Wakra Beach. We took Yijing along. Another new friend from Umaira's class.

New friends, new adventures, and new STORIES.
Times passed by very quick.
2010 is the year where me and Poppy moved out from Doha to take college in Jakarta, Indonesia.
We had to be seperated again. Mikael, Jayson, Umaira, and Kuya Oba dropped us to the airport.
First semester, I somehow remembered them all. I phoned Kuya Oba and cried telling him that I've missed everyone. He was panicked when he heard me crying. The next year on summer, Kuya oba, Jayson and Umaira came to Bali so we had holiday together. :)

2012, summer holidays... Kuya Oba, Umaira, and Jayson visited Jakarta in June. July, Jayson and Bang Fauzan came again.

I hope this friendship will never last. I promise myself that later on my wedding they should come!! No matter what. I should organize the time.

For 2013, I wish that we all be successful and this friendship will grow more and more. Never last forever. Aamiin.

Pain in the ass

Pain in the ass is what I think of myself.

Troublemaker is what my boyfriend called me.
Disturbance is what my sister said about me.
Loud is what my brother told me.
Careless is what my mom shouted at me.
Immature is what my dad yelled at me.

http://youtu.be/-OBgdoAmuwI

I cried when I watched that video. It just reminds me of all the people I love :)

Woohoo Midterms Are Over!!

I finally can breathe. Exams are over. But there's still something that disturbs me that is THE RESULTS OF EXAMS!! T_T
I hope I get good marks. Aamiin.

Today I went out with Ade, Mery and Fedora to Taman Anggrek Mall to eat at Pizza Hut and hanging around there. Ade wanted to go karaokeing but since my throat is sore so we cancelled the plan. Had another plan though, hanging and sitting in Central Park's garden, but it was raining. Besides raining, we actually took taxi just to get to Central Park but the taxi driver was crazy that he asked us for 30,000 rupiahs. DAMNS DRIVER!! So we got out of that shitty taxi. I t was SEPAKAT TAXI. AAAARRGHH!!

Anyways, I have class tomorrow. That's it for today. Night.

Oh wait, I have to something. I

She's gone forever

It's very sad that Mentari is gone forever. She passed away few months ago. She was a very good girl, brilliant, pretty and religious. She died due to cancer.
One of her wishes is to get married before she died. Alhamdulillah she met a right guy and they married a month before she was gone.

I am bad. I just replied her few seconds ago when she asked me that question a year ago. I am sorry, Mentari. I miss you little kid :(

So many things I've wanted to buy in Qatar

H&M

Miss you too

Got up at 12 pm today and didn't realize that my mobile was off the whole time. My bf tried to reach me on the phone. So he texted my sister asking about me and "good" sister telling the truth about me still sleeping.
I just received his texts and that's all he said. "I miss you too, honey" :)

Rainy Days

December Wishlist

Since this month is a less penny cash so I decided not to buy anything or just spend any important stuffs. Been hanging around in some malls in Jakarta and been craving for cute and pretty stuffs. I wish I could just buy it right away :(

Here's my wishlist:
- A Furla type kind of bag
- Flat shoes from Wondershoe/Zara or wedges of Diana Rikasari's UP
- Make up
- Hijabs
- Perfume
- Semi transparent long dress
- Accessories

- DIET!!!

The type of a bag is exactly looking like this

Zara dress

Diana Rikasari's UP shoes

Aye Aye Captain

First of all I would say, "We all are proud of you, Rayyan! You have reached the Captain Level at your young age. Hope you can make use it in a good and better way so you can make a change for a better future of your company. Thank you so much for Lion&Wings Air on your support and trust on Andi Fathur Rayyan. "

5.00 AM Today was his first day flight as a Captain. He was so excited last night that he couldn't even sleep well. He got up early and left the place very early. He put his bars on his cloth and looking at them at mirror for many times. I just smiled by seeing him like that. "Maybe I would do the same if I were in the same position as him", I said silently. :)

4.15 PM He phoned me telling that he just landed Surabaya and on his way to the hotel. "It may take 45 minutes", he said. I asked him about how his first flight as a captain then he said, "The crew was well organized and good teamwork. Alhamdulillah the weather was not cloudy or rainy. Alhamdulillah for everything". So glad to hear all that. I've been worried waiting for his call these hours. Thank God he is fine :) Last but not least, Thank you so much for Allah who lead Rayyan's way. As for everyone ie include family and friends, thanks alot!!:D

During Examination Days

Having mid semester exams. Tomorrow is off for study. The day after is my CB Professional Development exam. I should have rest so that I can study tomorrow but this is what I've done for 2 hours late night in my room.

Birthday 2012

First Surprise by Ade and other classmates :*

Second Surprise by RG :*

Actually, I had 3rd surprise by HIMA but we didn't take pics of it :(

Move in Move out

Hey blog. It's been awhile. I've been busy moving out. Few months ago, I had lived in an apartment named Green Parkview Apartment which is located in Daan Mogot 14th KM. It was real far from my university, traffic area, polluted, and no internet. Every time I went to campus I had to leave the place 2 hours before class started. Even though Daan Mogot is in the same territory as my campus, ie West Jakarta, but still it took me 2 hours to travel. It was very tiring.
Well, the reason why I moved out from Binus Square to that place was because mom came to visit her lovely kids to Indonesia and needed a place to stay. So that's why we rented that place for 6 months. Beside that, grandma (oma) stayed with me and Poppy when mom back to Qatar. It was a short stay but it felt like years =__=

That's that.

I had to move out again. Yeah, move away from that place. Not because the facilities and the room services were bad. Those were alright. Only the distance that me and sis can't take it. Moreover, exams are just in few days. We just can't imagine studying without internet -__-" So I got an information about a guesthouse near Binus Square that is Kemanggisan 116. The place is close to Binus Square and located beside the road. Easy to get public transportation then.

Me and my sister have been cleaning up and organizing stuffs in our room for about 2-3 days. Today is the final. And so, I finally cleaned everything up. *Yaaay*

"SHY"

Got up at 9 when I actually slept at 4. I couldn't continue my sleep after Elsa's alarm rang. So I turned on my laptop and listening to songs which I downloaded yesterday. I don't know why it came to a song named "A Thousand Miles" by Vanessa. My heart pumped while listening. I remembered all the things with Rayyan, mom or family. It's kinda sad though, I mean, what's going on with Rayyan? Why didn't he want to meet my family? Uhmm he wanted it but in some occasion. BUT WHY WHY? I can't understand why. I asked him last night he said he didn't mean anything. He just wanted to be alone. Uhmm... nice reasone hahaha. Perhaps, he is SHY or nervous hahaha.

Talking about SHY, me and Rayyan went to Kemang last night. We ended up at this place called Papilion which Rayyan thought it was the same one as the one in Pacific Place. When we entered the building, he asked the worker there he said the restaurant is close but they have this fine dining place and lounge at the top. It's called SHY Rooftop.

SHY Rooftop is placed on the rooftop *duh*. It's in the 5th floor of Papilion place. It has live band. Everyday the band plays different music genre. For Saturday they play Pop Rock. I could say it's really classy. As it is classy, the price of the beverages are so expensive. We ordered 2 desserts, 3 mineral waters and 1 orange juice. It cost around Rp 400,000ish. Expensive huh? Weeewww.

Anyway, tomorrow Jayson is leaving Indonesia and back to Malaysia. So we will be hanging out for his last day here. We are meeting up in Plaza Senayan at 2 pm for lunch in Marche. For the night life, we will be going to Black Cat near by. Talking about Black Cat, just about two days ago Dicky Angelo told me that he performed there and treated his friends dinner. He said the place is good. The next day after he told me that, Jayson bbm-ed telling that he might be going to Black Cat but he cancelled it cause he was alone. So today is the day we might go there. Hope we are going to make it :)

He's Back

Rayyan's finally back to Jakarta. He'd been away for 4 days. I miss him so much :( I was really glad to see him. We went out for dinner last night. He picked me up by taxi. He didn't bring his car cause it was stuck between two cars in his parking's guest house. I don't mind he didn't drive a car as long as we can stay together and back to our normal "relationship life".
We had our dinner in Tiga Nyonya restaurant in Sarinah. It was our first time eating there. As expected, the prices are quite expensive for Indonesian's restaurant. The place is so traditional. They played the really old traditional songs. At first, I felt terrified cause it was kinda sound like those songs in Indonesian horror movies. Got goose bumps though. Then it was alright after the foods came. Well, many visitors were foreigners. Besides the place, the taste of the foods were delicious. Bet it was worth it.

After we finished up the foods, I told him that I wanted to buy red fried rice across the street in Kedai Pelangi. It serves Makassar foods. It is one of our favorite place to eat. The red fried rice is very famous. Anyways, I wanted that to bring it home for my sahur. Yes, I am still awake right now cause I forced myself not to sleep so that I can eat sahur. Otherwise I might not get up of my sleep.

The best part was that we walked from Kedai Pelangi to Starbucks. I ordered Frapuccino Java Chip to take home. Well, without even realizing it the drink was finished on our way home. We went back home by taxi which we got near McDonalds. Unfortunately, it took quite long to get one taxi. It was so unusual though. While waiting for the taxi, Rayyan said, "We never did this before, waiting for taxi and walked around the area. We were always driving around". Yeah he was right. I totally agreed to it. I was happy how we could do a very common stuff, I mean not too high class. I was so glad he actually wanted to do this. The moments that I've wanted so long :)

Thanks honey, it was great though. Please don't get sick. Rest well :*

Jayson's Second Visit

Jakarta, July 2012

Kuya Oba and Jayson First Visit

Jakarta, June 2012

Second Day

It's been 2 days that we stay away from each other - no talking, no texting, no meeting. My mind keeps saying,"is he really alright?". I mean, alright as in health. I am afraid that he might be in hospital right now. I don't exaggerate my thought of him sick and dying in the hospital. No. I am really worried. The previous fight which was about a year ago, he got stressed out then his illness "ulcer" occurred. I found it out the next day after he came out of the hospital. I felt really terrible for making him like that.
So now, my mind keeps telling me, "What if he is in the hospital right now?" but then later "No, maybe he is alright but he just doesn't want to answer my phone so he turned it off... or maybe... he is on a flight right now that's why he's phone is off???" OH MY GOD!! Yes, I feel so terrible. What should I do?? I don't know which mind is right; hospital, flight, sleeping?

PLEASE GOD HELP ME SOLVE OUR PROBLEMS.

Now I think about it. He's always like this every time we have a big fight. Well, I actually didn't count this as a big fight at first. Now by looking out the situation, it is a big fight. What the hell is wrong with him? What the hell is wrong with me I don't know what I shall do! Seriously, what should I do? I AM TOTALLY LOST!!!

Should I just leave him today, tomorrow and so on? Perhaps, HE DOES REALLY NEED TIME TO BE ALONE WITHOUT ME BRAGGING HIM!!

Past Sweet Things

I MISS THESE MOMENTS

Tired of us??

It was rainy when I opened my eyes from my sleep. Someone came to my mind. The thoughts and all the memories with that person crossed my mind. Thinking what I have done all this time to that person. My phone ringed. I quickly took my phone and picked it up. The person who called was not the person that I expected. I thought it would be him. I thought that we have this telepathy. I sighed after done talking on the phone with my friend who's name is Ade. Actually the person I'd expected was Rayyan. Yep, my boyfriend is that person I'm talking about. Again another question crossed my mind, why did he say that to me last night? Was he tired with me? Am I burdened to him? What should I do? I kept on thinking about what I shall do to make things alright. But again, the words he was saying last night... It really hurt my heart. My heart ached. Why did he say that? Why did he hate what I'm doing? Am I always a burden to him? Now I think about it more and more. Doesn't he realize that I've tried to change myself? Why did he keep on blaming me?? Or... Did I do the same thing to him? Did I blame him much? I guess, we both are tired to each other. Getting to realize more on how things sometimes not going well in our relationship. Can we really do this together? Make things change? I doubt it. I used to have this confidence about our relationship that might go well and we might be in the next step of life ie marriage. Why did he say that he was tired of me? Why did he hate me like that? I hope he realized what he was saying, what he has done to me. Am I always the one who gets pointed out of the blame? The facts that I don't like about him is when he thinks he is perfect. He is way better than the others. Well, it's a good thing sometimes. But I don't like it when it came to me. He said he doesn't like me wearing glasses and my glasses look cheap and stuff. I mean, is it really okay to hear that?? I have heart you know. My heart could cry, too. He should have known that I am not that rich to always buy branded stuffs. If he likes me when he first saw me because of what he thought I was, rich or everything, I am sorry I am not. You can find another girl who can buy BRANDED STUFFS. There's another pressure that caused by him. I lost my blackberry phone few weeks ago. The next day I lost my phone, me and him went to Senayan City to see around and seek for the prices of Blackberry phones. There he asked me of what type of Blackberry I used to have. I said, "Onyx". I wanted to buy Gemini or any type that is cheap for the cost of Blackberry. But then he said, "Why don't you buy Onyx? Cause you had Onyx right? Then buy the same type". Onyx that he meant is Onyx of the new version cause the old one is no more produced. Anyways, I told him already that I don't have enough money to buy that one cause my parents are not giving me money to buy a new one. Not because me and dad don't talk to each other for awhile, not because my parents are cheap. It's because they want to teach me how to be responsible on what I have and what they give me. I have lost or destroyed all my previous phones cause of my clumsiness. But this time, they won't buy me a new one so that I can be more careful. But why did he say that to me? BUY THE SAME TYPE OF BLACKBERRY?? Damn right. Sometimes what he said is just doesn't make any sense. He's actually giving me much pressure. Teaching me to be more of those high class people. But I came to be like that kind of person, he would say that I am a burden to him. Now what? Who is the person to blame? Not only him that is tired of this relationship, but also me. I am just getting sick of him telling me to buy branded stuffs and so on. HELLOOO??? Didn't I tell you about my family's situation? Can you please understand how I feel? I don't want to be a burden to my family anymore especially to mom. I love my mom. Talking about my family, sometimes I feel that he doesn't want to meet my family while he forced me to meet his family whenever they asked me to come along. Don't you think it is not fair? He changed his views towards my family. Is it because now that he knows eveything about my family? This is what I don't like about people who expects more than the fact. He never told me about his past that I think there's something fishy about it. To tell you guys, he is good in keeping his bad images as a secret. Good to be an actor though. Whatever. Anyways, I think that's all I have. He still didn't call me today. FUCK YEAH! I gotta go now. I need to take shower and go to JNE to deliver my mom's inventories :D See ya :*

Getting ready for a party

Tears in Sleep

It's been almost 3 years now...
Dreams came and brought me into tears.
Right, I was crying during my sleep. I don't know if that sounds terrible or not.
Cause I just felt the dream was so real. Every time the dream had me crying, it made me think it was real.
All of these years, the dreams got different stories. But why is it always related to mom? No idea!

A year ago, I searched an article about crying during asleep. Many people say it's just because before you sleep, you have this sadness emotion that you think about all night and so it comes out during your sleep. I think they are right.
Somehow, I remembered about "the secrets" that I was talking about in the other post. I post it before I slept. So it came to my dream. I couldn't cry that time. But the tears came out during my sleep.
I feel like my life is just full of drama. This complicated and annoying curiosity of myself. Deep inside me, I don't even know who I am.
That's why I feel terrible and sad emotions at times.
I want my head to know more about me. I want to know the fact about me.
Why does everyone keep a secret about me? Why can't they tell me about me??
Who am I?

Today, I got up from my sleep then I took my phone right away. I saw a notification sign of twitter. I clicked on the twitter icon and read the timeline. Just right there on the first tweet of the timeline, I saw a tweet from @infojakarta. It says, "Tidur saat mengalami peristiwa/perasaan yang menyedihkan malah bisa buat perasaan jadi lebih buruk....."
It's weird cause it is kinda like the answer to my curiosity.
I clicked the tweet to read more. Here what it says http://kosmo.vivanews.com/news/read/281419-tidur-bisa-buat-perasaan-buruk--makin-buruk

Yes, I've found the answer of my curiosity of the tears in my dreams hehehe
I thought it was a weird thing of crying in the sleep. Like a supernatural thing hahahahaha

An Accountant and A Writer

Need to write more. Need the inspiration. Does accountant count as a writer?

Yes, a book-writer and an accountant are the same. They write their stories but in different ways.

A book-writer tells his stories in a lot of words. Meanwhile, an accountant tells his stories through numbers.

But I'm here trying to be both of them.
I study accounting but I also write. Well, not writing a book. But I like telling stories of my own :)

Driving Around The City of Jakarta

Giving me advices about family while driving around the city. It was touching.
He asked me, "If you know that you are dying in few years, what are you going to do?"
I replied, "I would learn more about religion, prayer, be nice, doing good stuffs". Then he said, "if it was me, I would spend the years with my family. if I'm married I would spend it my kids and wife. If not, I'd spend it with my parents"
"Oh yes, parents!"
"Yes, you should spend more with your parents. Don't regret it later of what you're doing now"
I just couldn't say anything else. I shut my mouth for this very rare moment.
I never liked to get lectured but this time I just couldn't say a word.
He was giving me nice advices. I thanked him for those.
For my appreciation, I didn't deny his words.

There was one thing I wanted to tell him about. But I've always kept it with me. For the first time that I am afraid to tell him something what's on my head. Maybe he shouldn't know more about me. Let it be a secret forever.
My life is sure full of secrets, you know. Secrets that people wouldn't expect.

Taman Bunga Bogor

January 2, 2012

New Year's Eve