Friday, January 20, 2012

Tears in Sleep

It's been almost 3 years now...
Dreams came and brought me into tears.
Right, I was crying during my sleep. I don't know if that sounds terrible or not.
Cause I just felt the dream was so real. Every time the dream had me crying, it made me think it was real.
All of these years, the dreams got different stories. But why is it always related to mom? No idea!

A year ago, I searched an article about crying during asleep. Many people say it's just because before you sleep, you have this sadness emotion that you think about all night and so it comes out during your sleep. I think they are right.
Somehow, I remembered about "the secrets" that I was talking about in the other post. I post it before I slept. So it came to my dream. I couldn't cry that time. But the tears came out during my sleep.
I feel like my life is just full of drama. This complicated and annoying curiosity of myself. Deep inside me, I don't even know who I am.
That's why I feel terrible and sad emotions at times.
I want my head to know more about me. I want to know the fact about me.
Why does everyone keep a secret about me? Why can't they tell me about me??
Who am I?

Today, I got up from my sleep then I took my phone right away. I saw a notification sign of twitter. I clicked on the twitter icon and read the timeline. Just right there on the first tweet of the timeline, I saw a tweet from @infojakarta. It says, "Tidur saat mengalami peristiwa/perasaan yang menyedihkan malah bisa buat perasaan jadi lebih buruk....."
It's weird cause it is kinda like the answer to my curiosity.
I clicked the tweet to read more. Here what it says http://kosmo.vivanews.com/news/read/281419-tidur-bisa-buat-perasaan-buruk--makin-buruk

Yes, I've found the answer of my curiosity of the tears in my dreams hehehe
I thought it was a weird thing of crying in the sleep. Like a supernatural thing hahahahaha

Thursday, January 19, 2012

An Accountant and A Writer

Need to write more. Need the inspiration. Does accountant count as a writer?

Yes, a book-writer and an accountant are the same. They write their stories but in different ways.

A book-writer tells his stories in a lot of words. Meanwhile, an accountant tells his stories through numbers.

But I'm here trying to be both of them.
I study accounting but I also write. Well, not writing a book. But I like telling stories of my own :)

Driving Around The City of Jakarta

Giving me advices about family while driving around the city. It was touching.
He asked me, "If you know that you are dying in few years, what are you going to do?"
I replied, "I would learn more about religion, prayer, be nice, doing good stuffs". Then he said, "if it was me, I would spend the years with my family. if I'm married I would spend it my kids and wife. If not, I'd spend it with my parents"
"Oh yes, parents!"
"Yes, you should spend more with your parents. Don't regret it later of what you're doing now"
I just couldn't say anything else. I shut my mouth for this very rare moment.
I never liked to get lectured but this time I just couldn't say a word.
He was giving me nice advices. I thanked him for those.
For my appreciation, I didn't deny his words.

There was one thing I wanted to tell him about. But I've always kept it with me. For the first time that I am afraid to tell him something what's on my head. Maybe he shouldn't know more about me. Let it be a secret forever.
My life is sure full of secrets, you know. Secrets that people wouldn't expect.