Ouch! It hurts

I'm through with it now.
Why am I the only who's trying to change? I know that I am not perfect in your eyes that's why I am trying to change.
Don't you feel you're not perfect either?

What I don't like is that when there's a problem, you never want to solve it right away. You always keep it on your own. Why do you always do that? You don't trust me?
Or are you afraid to face a problem?
Seriously, if you are a gentle man please stop running away from anything T_T

ONE THING, PLEASE TELL ME HOW TO MAKE YOU HAPPY ALL THE TIME??

Being With You

Moments that I wouldn't forget all my life
Being with you
Nothing to regret of
Being with you
Though we battle
You know it's not your mistakes
But you smile and say "My fault"

You make my world upside down
Happiness and sadness
But,
Being with you
Nothing to regret

Do you feel the same
As how I feel when I am
Being with you
Will you stay the same
Like how we used to

Being with you
Is the greatest moment
That I always keep in my memory

Conversation between me and my boyfriend, Rayyan, last night on the phone.

Rayyan: Sayaaaang, kamu lagi apa?
Me: Aku lagi ngerjain tugas.
Rayyan: Tugas apa, sayang?
Me: Tugas Spiritual Development. :)
Rayyan: Hah?? Spiritual Development?
Me: Iya, perkembangan spiritual sayaaang.
Rayyan: Kamu itu belajar dukun apa ekonomi sih?
Me: ......awkward moment......

People Around Us

In my environment, there are kinds of people. They have their varieties.
Some who like to procrastinate much, some who like to go faster or ahead, some are in the middle.
These contradictions may lead to conflicts. Why is it so? It's because when a person has to face the other person with a different interest they might not get along very well. But some people can adapt with others who have different interest. I am sure of that.

There's maybe a person who likes to make things exaggerated. I mean, overreacting when things happened to her/him. She/he may act a little too much when she/he shouldn't have to. Acting like it's something big happened when the fact it's not that big deal. Though this kind of person is like acting bee but her/his other personalities can be a good or positive one. We have to admit that.

Meanwhile, there's a person who likes to say something without even doing it. Let's say, a talking head. A talking head is when a person talks big (promise something) without even making it happen. This one person also likes to pretend much, of course. How do we know? What else than pretending when he/she doesn't do what she/he said.
In this case, it would be better if others just say okay when he/she said something to promise. She/he wouldn't do it anyway right?

The other one is a person who likes to listen or stay in the middle or stable.
She/he is usually the good listener. She/he positioned her/himself to be the middle person. That's a good thing actually.

Also, there's this different kind is that she/he prefers to be the cool one when things happened around. She still cares about the surroundings but just that she doesn't stick around a lot when small things happened.

22/05/2011
He put a status on his bbm showing a 'sick emoticon'. I asked him right away about it. He said he got sick after he landed Jogja. He didn't even know how he became sick. It got worsen after he ate dinner he said.
He called when I had dinner in Central Park at Kiyadon with my brother and sister. His voice hoarse -hard voice-
I was worried. I asked him again whether he's gotten better. He said he had fever, flu and getting cough.
I couldn't say anything and wondered I wish I could be next to him right now.

Back to my room. I didn't know what I must do. I texted him on bbm telling him that I was worried. Yes, I honestly am (till now)! I also said that if he got worsen I don't mind travelling to Jogja with my brother just to take care of him. Well, I'm sorry if I sound too exaggerated but that's how worried I am till now.
I'm in my bed, flash back to the days before his flight. We had so much fights. We were tired cause we went out a lot, especially him, he drove the car like almost everyday so he went restless.

It keeps me wondering, "Is it me who makes him sick? Is it because of me that he is now suffering to his fever, flu and cough?". I couldn't sleep just thinking of it.
I feel really really bad for what I have done. I mean, saying sorry it's like a normal thing for me to say so I don't wanna say the word sorry. All I need to do is change my attitude towards him. Right??
I think all I need to do is:
I have to be patient. I have to change the way I talk to him. I must pay more attention to him.

Problems and Solutions

Problems:
* Salah paham.
* Sama-sama merasa benar.
* Melihat hanya satu sisi (negative saja maupun positive saja).
* Selalu ada yang kurang.
* Memiliki jalan pikiran yang berbeda.
* Cemburuan.

Solution:
Miscommunication:
Tidak berkomunikasi dengan baik. Mungkin penyampain aku atau cara bicara aku yang sedikit berbeda sehingga memancing emosi pada Rayyan.
Setiap kita ada plan pada diri masing-masing tidak saling memberi tahu maka terjadilah bentrok dan plan jadi kacau sehingga bikin aku emosi berat aka BETE.
Maka harus adanya saling memberi tahukan plan masing2 lebih awal sebelum plan Rayyan di jalankan.

Egois:
Sama-sama ngerasa benar dan tidak mau mengakui kesalahan satu sama lain. Aku akui level egois aku lebih tinggi dibanding Rayyan. ITU ADALAH KEKURANGAN AKU. EGO YANG TINGGI. Gimana kah cara menyelesaikan permasalahan ttg EGO?? Apa aku mesti mengalah dan Rayyan jg mengalah??

Fokus:
Hanya fokus pada satu sisi saja. Tidak memikirkan masa lalu yang pernah terjadi yang bisa dijadikan contoh untuk improvement. Sekali berpikir negative maka akan terpikir negative selama periode perjalanan. Tidak fokus pada nilai positive Rayyan.

Thankful:
Jangan lagi merasa ada yang kurang. Bersyukurlah udah memiliki pasangan seperti Rayyan yang bisa di jadikan contoh yang baik buat kebanyakan orang. Rayyan adalah cowo yang baik, patuh kepada orang tua, sabar, tidak pelit, ikhlas dsb. Alhamdulillah... Alhamdulillah... Alhamdulillah...

Satukan:
Satukanlah pemikiran kita yang berbeda ini pasti akan match. Manusia emang diciptain berbeda-bedan maka cobalah untuk satukan perbedaan ini hingga menjadi cocok.

Trust:
Janganlah terlalu cemburu (buat Rayyan). Percayalah sama aku, aku ga mungkin macem2. Kita harus saling percaya, sayang. Karena kepercayaan kita ini yang akan membantu kita untuk maju dalam perkembangan hubungan kita.

Let the romantic dinner happen

14th May, 2011

Saturday night. It's been long to have spent our weekend together. He asked me what did I want for tonight and I answered "I have been wanting for a special dinner". He said, "How about dinner in Hotel Indonesia?". Omg, I was seriously surprised. That's not what I meant. "No honey, that's exaggerated". Then I thought maybe he wanted that place so I changed my dress quickly and put a little make up. He bbm-ed me saying that he's been downstairs waiting for me.
I texted him telling that I was about to go down and infront of the lift but my text wasn't delivered.
I walked slowly with my heels searching for him. There he was in the car and I was hoping for him to come out of the car right after I saw his car.
I saw him wearing blue striped-white shirt then I complained. Meanwhile I wore a dress with a black semi-blazer. I looked so formal. Then I said, "why don't you wear your blazer?". "Well, I don't feel comfortable wearing it. It's just a dinner, you know". "But...but... I thought we've agreed of having a special dinner. You should wear a little bit formal. You don't get it do you?". "No, I don't get what special dinner is and what I should wear. I'm just a homeboy. I came from village. I don't know such things. I don't know style". "Okay, let's go back to your place and change".
He was so pissed. He drove so fast.

After he changed his shirt we were roaming around from Central Jakarta to the South. He changed his mind of having dinner in HI because I said it would be so expensive especially during weekend. We didn't talk much in the car. I held my phone and texting. I didn't even see the road or where we were heading. Thank God the street was empty like unusual.

It was passed 8. We still didn't get any place to eat. I think I apologized and I told him I wanted peace. He chilled a little and said, "I might be tired of you doing this to me". I was shocked. I almost cried.

We stopped in Ratu Plasa. He chose to eat steak in Outback Steak.
Slowly by slowly the atmosphere between us became normal. We took pictures and talked, laughed... staring at each other's eyes and smiled.
I felt warm inside. I said, "I love you". Yes, deeply in love with you.

Finished our food around 10ish. He said he was sleepy so he wanted to go back home. I agreed silently. On our way home I blubbered, "OMG! It's only 10?!!Why don't we hang out? I mean, it's weekend. We hung out late last night with our friends, why don't we hang out just the of us till late??". He only replied, "I'm sleepy".
"Okay maybe he IS sleepy". Honestly, I was pissed. I mean, he wanted the special weekend but why we didnt hang out till late? He could hang out late night with my friends but with me? WHY NOT?
He suddenly said, "It's just that I dont feel like going out. I am not in the mood for that". I kept silent.

I called Andry and Ndo for a hang out after Rayyan dropping me home.
They both thought I was crying when I called them. They came to me right away in the lobby :)
Well, we actually didnt talk much about of what happened between me and Rayyan. But it helped me to calm down :)

I texted Rayyan but my text wasnt delivered. I knew he would turn off his phone.

I just wanted to talk to him.
I wanted to ask myself. Why am I like this towards him? Do I hurt him much? Am I the right girl for him?
I've changed a lot. A LOT... A LOT... I have never been this mean to any of my bf :(

Ka Atika's Wedding

Just when I am on my way to go onto a step a head on my love level. But why is there any distraction? Is it so hard to keep faith?
My bf has become that boom jealousy. I don't know. It's like he is not a person that I've known. Or maybe I never knew him of that side. But it's alright. He's been patient all this time - keeping all all the anger and jealousy inside. I think it is now time for him to take action and let out his anger.

Moreover, I don't mind he's being like that. Let this life go on as long as it doesn't change me much but I wanna live a normal life, seriously. I mean... life that doesn't destroy my everything.
Live life that is according to my plans - go to university, study hard for 4 years, graduate with high scores, get a job in a Bank, marry to a man I love, live in a happy family. Beside that, of course I don't forget of my family and best friends. I want to carry my life with them. :D
See, now I am in the first step of my plan - go to university. There's still a long way to go, you know. So, why don't we go through all the steps slowly?
We love each other, but patient please?

Life is sure like a Puzzle

There's this weirdness.
I had a dream this morning after my Fajr prayer. In my dream, Bang Dicky was there. He and his friend came to me after he got tattooed on his back with words like a long letter. The tattoo is as long as half of his back. Also, in my dream he was sad and even cried when he showed me his tattoo.

I told him about my dream just now on BBM. He said, "How could you know that? That is my plan when my grandma die. But no body knows it! HOW?".
Well, it's even weird for me as that dream came. I even questioned myself why he came to my dream?
It's weird how his plan came to my dream?!!
I am getting scared and... I got goose-bumped now! :S
Hope what I saw in my dream won't come true...

Romantic Dinner Huh??

Just when me and R on the way to Ancol to have our dinner in its seaside by last Wednesday night, I told him that he is not such a romantic guy. Then he replied,"Hahaha yes I am not a romantic guy but if you want a candle light dinner... Uhm... All this time we go dinner at good places, so that's romantic right?". "Ahhh honey!! It's usual for a couple to eat dinner in any restaurants. But what I meant was a proper dinner with a formal dress hehehe". He said, "Well, we can make that happen now. Just change our dress then go dinner hehe". Aaaaahhh it's hard to make him understand =.=
But that's fine. I don't expect much from him.

Today, tonight... or just now.. on the phone he suddenly mentioned about a romantic dinner. He said he's been thinking about it all day during his flights. He wanted to be a surprise for me hehehe. Well, before that he actually asked me where should be the good place for a romantic dinner but all I know is in hotel. I said, "I don't want to be that expensive.Let's just forget about a romantic dinner. You better save up!".

I miss him so much :(
Every time we talk on the phone in hours, we never get enough.
I think I really fall for him hahaha. "I hate you, honey!"
I am used of his jokes now though they are LAME. HAHAHAHA PEACE!

I know he might be reading my blog and when he likes it he reads it MANY TIMES. Hahaha. Such a kid -__-

Anyways, bye!
Wish me luck on my finals.

20th January 2011

Happy family Perhaps?

Someone was jealous when 'Andra' hugged me so tight. *glance at Rayyan*
Andra or Andha is the name of the monkey. He is a baby monkey.
Awww... I wanna hug him agaiiiiin

The Safari Trip

My bf, R, took this picture using my camera. Well, he is not used of using my camera so he didn't know the focus as the result the picture is not focused on me. But I like it hehe :)

Now I want to show you my room. I remembered of Ccha that she once told me she wanted to see my room through webcam. Because of our clashed time, busy of assignments and other stuffs so we haven't let that to happen. So, I had this idea of taking pictures of my room (though it's not a whole room, just the half of it). But you can see how purple it is :P

Yes, Sabiqah saw this pair of shoes of mine which I wore in my primary picture on my facebook. She said she likes my oxford heels :D
I actually got this last winter, which was the beginning of 2010 or maybe sometime around December 2009 hehehe.
I never wore it before *pat pat* I just fell in love with shoes but I had this not-confident-feelings to wear it.
Oh yeees! I have another oxford shoes which is not with high heels :D


*********
One day, me and R went shopping to Senayan City. Sales discount were every where. Every shop in Senayan City. Uhm... Our first intention on going there was to buy for R's niece and nephew shirts. But the one who got excited of the sale discount was ME! I know =.= He was like, "uhm... we're here for?? but it's okay if you wanna go shopping. But I need to buy something for my nephew and niece first". Okay I got! Sigh. That was also the day when my mood turned down due to PMS. I was mad at him cause I thought he didn't want to go shopping with me but acutally I promised him just to accompany him to shop. I even mentioned that I'd better go shopping with my friends and Ndo & Ganta. He was so pissed to hear what I'd said. He then said, "Okay! I think I am of no use here. If you wanna go shopping with your friends go ahead! I think you enjoy shopping with them huh?". OMG! I quieten down.

It was in TOP SHOP that time. I grabbed his hand and pulled him out of the shop. Then we stopped. He said, "I am tired of us like this. PLEASE STOP MENTIONING YOUR FRIENDS! If you wanna go shopping, let's shop. Anyways, let's check out ZARA".

On our way to ZARA, he asked me, "Are you not in the mood because of you white cardigan got stained by the laundry lady? aaargh! Let's buy the new one honey. Don't worry". He smiled at me. "Well honey, it's not because of that. It just that I hate it when my stuff got destroyed by someone else". "I can understand that but let's forget it. We can buy the new one right? I am sure ZARA has many cardigans".
When we reached at ZARA, we did find varies of cardigan but the price is too expensive just for a simple cardigan."No way, there's no way I buy cardigan here. It's too simple and COSTLY", I told him. He agreed with me.
We took a look around but nothing caught my eyes. My mood turned down again. My bf knew I was upset. I told him that we should go back to TOPSHOP no matter what. He kinda felt annoyed by the way of my manner of talking. He said, "Let's go somewhere else. Other shops perhaps?". I agreed. But again, nothing caught my eyes.
We then decided to go back to TOPSHOP. It was actually our third time going there on that DAY! HAHAHA. The workers must be annoyed looking at us. SORRY MAN, this I'll buy one at least hehe.
So yeah, I got a blouse.

ICW event has finally over. Now it's time for us to be back to our university activities. Beside that, we have to prepare for our final semester exams which start on 28th of January. Yes! We have to fight!!

By the way, I bought aroma therapy oil in ICW. I actually don't have the place for the oil to be burned. But I bought it because I fell in love with the frame :D


Here is a pic of me on the last day of ICW :)

I got this dress from Ccha when she traveled to Bali last summer. Isn't it pretty? Thanks Ccha <3

Doraemon Guitar Pick

A guitar pick from Dicky Angelo, whose a friend of mine. I usually called him Bang Dick hehehe. Well, he probably doesn't like to be called "Dick" :P

Anyways, he once had a long conversation with my sister, Poppy, in the campus while I was away. I left them in the campus cafe cause I had class.

After that day, they kinda like getting closer (too).

Yesterday when Bang Dick came to apt to do our assignments together, he asked me, "Where's Poppy? I've got a gift for her! I am sure she'd like it hehehe". I was like, "HUHHH?? What is it bang?". He smiled with a big big smile. Then he showed it to me. I...I... was surprised and laughed. He said, "Sorry neng, I didn't give you any gifts". "Ahh it's alright!".

He actually got many of that from his friends but when he saw the Doraemon one he remembered Poppy all of sudden. Hehehe Thanks :)

From Red to Milky Pink

My bf didn't like the color of my nail polish. He said it's too RED and I look like a "tante-tante girang". So he then suggested me to remove it.
By the time we walked by, I stopped at The Face Shop. It showed "Buy 3 get 1" in the nail polish section. I checked out the colors. R said, "Isn't it better you put the transparent one?". Aaaargh! Alright! I searched for the color. Unfortunately, they dont have it. Uhmm... So then looked at other colors. He finally got one. Not transparent, not too bright. So it's a light pink. The pink is like mixed with a milk. I mean it looks like a strawberry milk :D


Now you tell me, what do you think of this color? Isn't it sweet?
Awww.. He knows my favorite color. He felt like RED isn't so ME! It is just NOT ME, he said.

Thanks hon!

Do you know that I and some friends in BSq are having an event called ICW (Indonesian Culture Week)?
This is a big event for all the boarders and others to enjoy. We have facilitated everyone to this event. ANYONE CAN COME!
*Sigh* Due to less information, many people don't notice this event. Some of the students in campus thought this event is specialized for the BSq boarders. IT IS NOT LIKE THAT! Seriously, I don't want people to think students who live in BSq are those who are rich! We aren't like that. I don't like to be treated too SPECIAL. We all are the same.
This event is made for everyone to enjoy. Unfortunately, people don't think that way. Again, maybe it's due to lack of information. We didn't advertise well.
Even the boarders here don't participate this event. I don't even KNOW WHY?? WELL, HELLOO?? IS IT BECAUSE OF THE ORGANIZERS ARE THE ONES THAT YOU HATE OR DISLIKE?
It is true that we are inexperienced in organization. But please can you make one like this event? We had took our time. We spent alot on this event for EVERYONE!
SO CAN YOU PLEASE AT LEAST APPRECIATE OUR HARD WORK?

People are too busy with their own world, I guess.

WHATEVER!

*****************

The first day of ICW, I took Batik course. Many of the participants were some of our members. Some of the boarders must be laughing and saying "HAHAHA YOUR EVENT IS A FAILURE!". I know. But please can you be more FRIENDLIER THAN THAT? WE ARE FAMILY HERE. WE LIVE IN THE SAME ROOFTOP!


The second day, at the end of the day... I accidentally met Igo Idol who happened to be Bryan's friend when he was in Ambon.


Bryan is the guy on the left side of the pic.

New Year's Gift

Thinking what I was gonna write here on my blog...

Tic... Toc... Tic... Toc... *still thinking*

Yes! I got it!

It reminds me days before New Year's eve when R got 4 days of holidays due to the extension of his flight driving license. We hung out A LOT! Like almost everyday.
We even going back and forth in the morning from our place to R's aunt's place in Cibubur. It took like almost 1:30 hours to arrive there. The place is quite far away.

Anyways, these 4 days we'd spent.. were actually the days when his Grandpa and Grandma came to Jakarta from Makassar. So he initially wanted to meet his grandparents but he took me along. Uhm... yes that's how he is. He likes to take me around his family in any events, or anytime.
The final destination was Mami's place (Rayyan's aunt in Taman Ratu compound, Kebon Jeruk). We went to Cibubur just to pick up R's aunt and uncle to meet the grandparents at Mami's house.

By the time we reached Mami's, we had a good lunch together and chit-chat.
In the middle of our conversation, Mami said she had this shirt which she bought the other day. She loved it but too bad she couldn't wear it cause it's too tight for her. So she gave it to me. I accepted it as a New Year's gift hehehe. I loved it!
You know what? She got it from Massimo Dutti. It's a really expensive store. Whew!



If you wanna see which one is Mami. Here she is.

(I am sorry for the quality of the pic. I took it with my mobile)

Welcome Back Omma Hoon

I've heard a big news from Doha. Is it true that Kim Ji-Hoon is back to Doha? I'd heard that many times before that he would come back but nobody knew whether he really would come or not.
When I heard that this time would be for real that he is coming back, I was happy cause I know everyone is missing him so muuuuch. Especially Big Daddy (Faisal, red).
Ccha told me on twitter saying that Hoon has already arrived in Doha about yesterday or a day before. Wooow! I was surprised that he really is coming back :D
It's making me more wanting to go to Doha SOON!! WOOHOOOO :D

I haven't talked to him even on facebook. I feel weird cause.... uhmmm, I don't know. I can feel the weirdness hahaha.

Anyways, if you kinda get curious who the hell Kim Ji-Hoon is... I'll upload the picts here. The pics were of 2008, I guess





The below one is gonna be epic. He is being lifted by Big Daddy.

Weekend doesn't feel like weekend

Hi again. You might actually asking why I come back to my blog lately. Uhm... to be honest, it is just to waste the time. I want to procrastinate my tasks. I actually have assignments to do but I am waaaay too lazy to even check them on my university's discussion forum. Anyways, today is Sunday right? Yess! It is weekend. Too bad it didn't feel like weekend to me. Me and R usually would go out during the weekends but this time he is nowhere around. It's due to his random schedule that he suddenly got scheduled to take flight to Surabaya. But it's alright! I appreciate his job.

Oh by the way, I never shared about his profile heh? Hahaha. Alright, let me share a little.
He works as a driver in a flight company. He takes plane to different cities. Planes need him to take off and land in the airport :D
Now you guess, what he works as. Here is a picture of him before he went for his job.

Ewww. He is so skinny! You know, when you see us together we're like 1-0. He is 1 and I am 0. Sigh U_U SO SAD RIGHT?

During his flight, he once sent me a picture of a writing. I used to laugh when I saw it cause it's how he was trying to make me flattered. Hahaha.


Look at his handwriting. Isn't it skinny too? Hahaha.
Oh God, it reminds me of a Junior High School times. Boys and girls used to write like that hahaha. "I told you honey, you're a kid, kayak anak SMP ;) hahaha"

********

Last night, I couldn't sleep. It was after such a long time that this "can-not-sleep" moment happening again. Something wrong with my stomach. It hurt so bad. I bet it's like a PMS stomachache. I tried to drink as much as I could. Oh well, I ate once yesterday that was around 4 pm. It's whether lunch or dinner :S

My eyes opened 24 hours but I was too lazy to do some activities. So I lied on my bed and recalling some memories back when I first went out with a boy hahaha. I even shocked to know that I actually had a date when I was 11 or 12 or something?? It feels like I am too young to even know what love is :(
During my moment, I got distracted by my BB notification of twitter. So then I got up from my bed and took my mobile. It was my brother mentioning me and Poppy.


"Awwww :( You guys! Hugs and kisses from us too!
Oh wait, how come my brother.....??? Wait.... Is he hanging out with them? Once my brother told me that he is in Mike's hummer hanging out together. Uhm.. Surprise! How come they get along?"

I miss them too :(

Daddy. He is our dad. He loves to joke around. I miss his tummy and armpit hehe. I used to hug him underneath his armpit :D I love you daddy :*


Mommy. She's my mom. Yes, my super mom. She never be tired of taking care of us, feeding us, driving us to school everyday, taking us around for shopping. That's why she's our super strong mom. Love you mom


Rayyan or Mr R. This is him when he needs me to answer him as soon as possible -_- He could be soooo childish sometimes hahahaha. *hug*


Ccha or Umaira Nisa. She's my honey cake or... Poppy and me called her "Sweetbottom". hahaha There's a story behind it :P
Anyways, sorry I didn't reply you, Sweetbottom. I didn't have credit :( Hope your BBM was on. Aaaargh I miss the sealine moment huhuhuhu. Remember my birthday right


Dalia. I called her Daliye hahaha and she called me Niessay. Aaargh I miss her :( She's now in Canada. Yeah she's having fun with her freedom there hahaha I am sure baby! :*


Denali. She's my best friend since I was in the 3rd grade. Now she's in Makassar taking university. Surprisingly, we took the same major :)


Kuya Oba or Michael Abiera. Kuya means big brother in Tagalog (Philippine's language); He is my brother. Wassup bro? Hehehe. We've been brother and sister since 2004 I guess? Right? ;)


Bang Bayu. He is bang Andra's friend which I've known him since I was in English Modern School around the year of 2001-02 when I first joined the school.

In the rains

Okay, let's continue my love story hehe.

In the early morning of today, after my Fajr prayer, I had a thought of visiting him to his place before he leaves to airport. All I wanted to say is "I am really sorry for what I've said last night". It took me quite long time to think whether I should go or not. Uhm... After a while I had found the answer; Yes I should go and say sorry from my big heart. I don't care if he doesn't accept my apology.
I hurried up, took my cardigan and hijab. On my way to the front gate, I kept on thinking whether this is a good decision or not. "No no no, maybe I should go back to my room!". I stopped and turned back. And again, I stopped. I returned to the gate with the fast walking movement. I saw a Bluebird taxi in front of the gate. I walked towards that blue car taxi. I opened the door and asked the driver, "Excuse me, are you waiting for someone?". He replied, "Yes ma'am, I am waiting for a girl named Ophie". "I see, thanks".
Uhm... I walked away and stood near the gate. Maybe I should take an 'ojek'. Oh well, but I see none of it. "Alright, I don't mind taking bajaj or any taxis", I said silently. I saw a sign of taxi with the light on which means no passenger. I raised my hand half. But that taxi didn't stop. Aaaaargh... Alright, maybe I should go to ATM and take some money just in case.
By the time I reached the ATM, something came in my mind "Oh, why can't I ask the security to drop me there? Maybe he wants the offer".
Right after I took my money, I called the security and asked him if he can drop me to a place. He said he'll call his friend. So then I waited for his friend to come. I sat near the security post. My mind kept on asking myself "Is it really a good decision? Maybe I should just forget this and go back to my sleep". While I was waiting, I also kept an eye to the street if his car pass by so that I won't go there. I almost cried when another security (who I familiar with) asked me where I wanna go.
It was raining that time. That security asked me, "Is it really okay to go in the rains? Do you want to wear a raincoat?". I replied with soft voice, "It's okay sir, I am fine with the rains". Then he took his motorcycle. Yep, we went by motorcycle.

We finally reached his place. I quickly ran to his gate and trying to open the lock. It was actually locked. AAAAARRGH! Perhaps, I am not destined to meet him. I went back to the security and told him to leave but he suggested not to leave. He said, "You should wait. He'll come out soon. Look, his driver is here. He will come out soon!". "No sir, I better leave! I don't want to meet him. I know, I did a mistake last night". "Then, you should say sorry before he leaves."
(Oh my God! This is like a drama right?)
Anyways, I sat on the motorcycle jock. I waited. And again, I told him to take us back to BSquare. He said,"Are you sure? He's gonna leave for days and you won't be able to see him in DAYS". Sigh! Yes, maybe he's right. Not MAYBE. HE IS RIGHT!

In the middle of our conversation, he suddenly said, "Look he's there! He has came out. Just wait here, and talk to him properly later". Aaaww he was such a good man. Thank you so much for encouraging me, Sir.

R came out. He was really surprised to see me outside his place. He came to me and smiled. He said, "I am surprised to see you here". I said, "WHAT?? AAARGH GO AWAY!". I actually was embarrassed. I blushed. I'd never done that in my life; come to a guy in the early morning to say SORRY.
He told me to be in the car with him. Then the security man said, "You both better a have good talk".

I went inside his car. The driver asked where we want to go. He told him to drop me first to my apartment. In the car, it was awkward. We were like, ".......". Minutes later, he stared at me, held my hand and smiled. A few later, I said sorry in a lower voice. He replied with a big smile, "It's fine". It was when we were on the way back to BSquare.
When we reached, he walked me to the door and we hugged. I said, "Take care. I love you".
I went inside, the security woman whose name is Aysha saying to me, "Huh? What happened? Got caught of cheating?" HAHAHAHAHA NO! "No ma'am, nothing like that".

I returned to my bed safely hehehe. He texted me and saying, "Sayang, bobo lagi yah. Love you. Jgn nekat lagi yah kyk gitu *hug*".
Thanks honey, I love you :)

I know, the story sounds like a drama in a romance movie. Sigh. I promised won't do this thing again. Weird

We just had a big fight. I don't know, it's our "how many times" fight. Aaaaargh, I always be the one who started as I am too selfish. I can't resist of my anger. He hung up the phone right after he grumbled "AAAAARRRGHHHH!". OMG!! I was over, too over maybe. I wasn't only angry but yelled at him. I shouldn't have done that, right?
He said he needed time to be alone. But I think all I wanted was that "why can't he tell me anything that's disturbing his mind?" I may be nothing but at least I want to try to comfort him. He's my boyfriend, and I am his girlfriend right? Is it wrong to share??

This evening after my class, I was planning to stop by to his place and give him a "bento" to eat as his lunch cause he hadn't taken any lunch, and also I wanted to comfort him or just give him a little hug. But guess what? He didn't even let me do that. I don't know why! Alright, maybe he needed time to be alone, just all by him self. Like he used to be when he was single?! I don't care if he yelled infront of me, let his anger out. I just wanted to be there by his side when he is in a bad condition. Why can't he let me? Is it so hard for him to show his anger to me? So that I know what's disturbing his mind?
I never understand what he is thinking. We never have the same way of thinking. Is it a good or a bad sign? We had have alot of misunderstanding because of this. Now tell me, how should we solve this?

Celebrating New Year

My lovely R and me

Adek Arik

The Family