My Dreamlalaland

22/05/2011
He put a status on his bbm showing a 'sick emoticon'. I asked him right away about it. He said he got sick after he landed Jogja. He didn't even know how he became sick. It got worsen after he ate dinner he said.
He called when I had dinner in Central Park at Kiyadon with my brother and sister. His voice hoarse -hard voice-
I was worried. I asked him again whether he's gotten better. He said he had fever, flu and getting cough.
I couldn't say anything and wondered I wish I could be next to him right now.

Back to my room. I didn't know what I must do. I texted him on bbm telling him that I was worried. Yes, I honestly am (till now)! I also said that if he got worsen I don't mind travelling to Jogja with my brother just to take care of him. Well, I'm sorry if I sound too exaggerated but that's how worried I am till now.
I'm in my bed, flash back to the days before his flight. We had so much fights. We were tired cause we went out a lot, especially him, he drove the car like almost everyday so he went restless.

It keeps me wondering, "Is it me who makes him sick? Is it because of me that he is now suffering to his fever, flu and cough?". I couldn't sleep just thinking of it.
I feel really really bad for what I have done. I mean, saying sorry it's like a normal thing for me to say so I don't wanna say the word sorry. All I need to do is change my attitude towards him. Right??
I think all I need to do is:
I have to be patient. I have to change the way I talk to him. I must pay more attention to him.