My Dreamlalaland

"I knew I won't be sleeping tonight".
So many things in my mind.
My dad phoned me when I tried to sleep. I held my tears and talked with him calmly. I said silently, "Don't cry! Be a grown up girl!". It felt like holding my breath for so long, my heart was pumping so fast. I exhaled my breath after we hung up the phone. Then I turned on the music on my playlist. The slow and ballad songs were playing, the old songs that I used to listen in Doha were repeating. Suddenly, it reminded me of the old days. My mind turned back and flashed-back to a place where I grew up. I took my laptop, the background showed the collage photos of my lovely family and friends.
Tic...tic..tic. My tears finally fell down. I just couldn't hold it anymore. I miss them. I miss laughing with them. I miss being mad at them. I miss being cheered on by them. I miss their jokes. I miss eating with them. I miss being broke with them. I miss hanging out with them. I miss everything.
I clicked on the picture folder. I chose to open the videos. I watched the videos one by one. I thought this would calm me a little but NO! It made me cry more and more.
Then I remembered Kuya Oba. He used to come to my place and brought me my favorite pizza ie Papa John's pizza. I would be happy and smile again. But now is left by memories. I am here in my room looking at the pictures and videos.
My heart couldn't stop my fingers of texting Kuya. I knew he would call by any minutes. He said, "What happened to you? You sound like you're not okay. Tell me. I am here for you, adik.". I just kept quiet. My lips couldn't say anything but my tears kept on falling from my eyes. He heard me cry. All I said was, "I miss you all. I miss everyone". I told him to come online to make it cheaper hehe. He knew something must be going on here. He wanted me to tell him but I didn't. There was nothing I could tell. My mind was blank. I thanked Kuya for being there for me just right when I needed someone to lay on.