Missing my Datuk (Great Grandma)

I don't know why every time I listen to BYE BYE song by Mariah Carey, always reminds me of my Datuk (great grandma).

Like today, I put up the songs in Windows Media Player. The songs were shuffled then Bye Bye song came up. The song pushed me to search for the lyric, so then I searched it on http://www.metrolyrics.com . I sang along with the lyrics. My tears almost fell down but I held it. I just didn't want my mom to see it :( It's kinda weird you know.

While singing along, I read through out the lyric. It is sure deep - a really deep song.

My heart ached, my lips shaking, my eyes watery.

I realized that I missed my Great Grandma so bad. I've had one bad memory with her that I've regretted it till now.

I wish I could say sorry and hug her and never let my arms off.

I wish I could sleep with her and talk the whole night.

I wish I cooked her and drop the foods to her house everyday.

I wish I bought her favorite ice creams whenever she wanted.

I wish she was alive so that she can choose a better guy for me.

I wish in my wedding she could be there to share my happiness.

I wish she was still here so that we can share a lot of happiness together.

I wish...... I wish....... I wish.....

These are only wishes - the wishes that will never come true because I was stupid that now I regret everything what I'd done to her :(

Though it was just a small thing, but this regretfulness never be erased from my heart and mind.

Ya Allah, Please help me to be a better person from now and then. I don't want to regret like this ever again. Please help me to find a way to be a good daughter who can make parents happy.

btw, here is the lyric:

This is for my people's who just lost somebody
Your best friend, your baby, your man or your lady
Put your hand way up high, we will never say bye

Mamas, daddies, sisters, brothers, friends and cousins
This is for my people's who lost their grandmothers
Lift your head to the sky 'cause we will never say bye

As a child there were them times
I didn't get it but you kept me alive
I didn't know why you didn't show up sometimes
It's something more than saying, "I miss you"
But when we talked too

All them grown full things separation brings
You never let me know it, you never let it show
Because you loved me and obviously
There's so much more left to say
If you were with me today face to face

I never knew I could hurt like this
And everyday life goes on like
I wish I could talk to you for awhile
I wish I could find a way try not to cry
As time goes by

And soon as you reached a better place
Still I'll give the whole world to see your face
And I'm bragging next to you
It feels like you gone too soon
Now the hardest thing to do is say bye bye

Bye bye, bye bye, bye bye
Bye bye, bye bye, bye bye
Bye bye, bye bye, bye bye, bye bye

And you never got the chance to see how good I've done
And you never got to see me back at number one
I wish that you were here to celebrate together
I wish that we could spend the holidays together

I remember when you used to tuck me in at night
With the teddy bear you gave me that I held so tight
I thought you were so strong that you can make it through whatever
It's so hard to accept the fact you're gone forever

I never knew I could hurt like this
And everyday life goes on like
I wish I could talk to you for awhile
I wish I could find a way try not to cry
As time goes by

And soon as you reached a better place
Still I'll give the world to see your face
And I'm bragging next to you
It feels like you gone too soon
The hardest thing to do is say bye bye

Bye bye, bye bye, bye bye
Bye bye, bye bye, bye bye
Bye bye, bye bye, bye bye, bye bye

This is for my people's who just lost somebody
Your best friend, your baby, your man or your lady
Put your hand way up high, we will never say bye

Mamas, daddies, sisters, brothers, friends and cousins
This is for my people's who lost their grandmothers
Lift your head to the sky 'cause we will never say bye, bye

I never knew I could hurt like this
And everyday life goes on like
I wish I could talk to you for awhile
I wish I could find a way try not to cry
As time goes by

And soon as you reached a better place
Still I'll give the world to see your face
And I'm bragging next to you
It feels like you gone too soon
The hardest thing to do is say bye bye

Bye bye, bye bye, bye bye
Bye bye, bye bye, bye bye
Bye bye, bye bye, bye bye, bye bye

Bye bye, bye bye, bye bye
Bye bye, bye bye, bye bye
Bye bye, bye bye, bye bye, bye bye